|
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...
|
Sam grew up in an otherwise normal family. Sandwiched between two brothers, his childhood was filled with typical boyhood adventures. Many a night they’d come dirty from head to toe, requiring baths before supper.
As Sam grew, his speech became at times incoherent. He stuttered alot and his comprehension in school suffered.
His parents and teachers chalked it up to shyness, figuring he’d outgrow it. He didn’t. By middle school, he was frequently bullied for his stuttering. Sam was often overlooked for intramural sports or not invited to parties, despite his brothers being so.
By high school, Sam had developed what some today have diagnosed as a fixed mindset. In Sam’s mind and that of his parents and teachers, his future looked grim. Not much to look forward to on the horizon.
“I am what I am, and that won’t change,” Sam concluded.
Despite the fact that Sam made a faith commitment to Christ in his teenage years, his limitations loomed larger than his trust in God. What he saw in front of him spoke louder than who God says he was..
“I am bullied. I can’t talk right. I am too shy to venture out and try new things. What girl would ever want to date or marry me?”
Sam entered his college years unsure of a major. He lacked purpose, and despite attending a Christian college, he was always the odd man out.
Joining the military solved his purpose quest. Being given orders helped him with his daily and longer-term direction. Seeing the world through his military assignments also helped Sam. Yet, his fixed mindset lingered. Anger filled his emotions. Convinced the world was against him, Sam hunkered down to a life filled with uphill battles.
Sam eventually got married and raised a family. Given his fixed mindset, he raised his kids with the same negative outlook. His son grew up lacking confidence, frequently being overly hard on himself, like his dad was.
Decades went by, and Sam passed away. For as much as his family loved him and grieved his passing, they compassionately concurred that if Sam had overcome his fixed mindset with a growth mindset, despite his lifelong struggle with stuttering, his joy and theirs would have been greater.
Growth Mindset
Psychotherapists are big on the idea that a change in your mindset opens the doors for greater success in overcoming struggles and addictions.
There’s an element of truth to that; however, where we find a growth mindset most prevalent is in scripture. The entire Gospel is about transformation and hope. Jesus redeems us from the pit of sin. We might still have physical ailments that don’t change, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a growth mindset.
Ephesians 3:20
Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us,
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.
The year I had my quadruple heart bypass surgery has been dubbed the dark night of my soul. Pain was constant. I doubted my ability to recover and achieve some sense of a new normal; a normal I’d be happy with. If it wasn’t for friends and family that showed me the presence of Jesus during that arduous year, I’m not sure if I would be where I am today.
Somewhere in that process, the Lord showed me that certain circumstances I experience, albeit not welcomed, can be used by God to change me from the inside out.
As I saw hope amidst my unwanted circumstances, my heart changed. I experienced the presence of Jesus more and through Him the Holy Spirit became my familiar companion.
Romans 15:13 goes like this….
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.
Joy and peace come in the power of the Spirit as I look to Jesus for my hope.
And, with such hope comes a growth mindset. I need not be defeated by roadblocks and setbacks. In Christ, some opportunities ultimately will change my life, even if circumstances don’t.
This growth mindset is not some mental game. Sure, you can try by your own efforts to manipulate your mind, but without Christ it won’t last.
Recently, I sprained my ankle, missing a step into a sunken living room. Many prayers, medical attention, and help have improved my condition. However, certain foot pivots send a sharp pain up my right leg. Ouch!
I’ll be honest. Those sharp pains discourage me. “Will this ever heal up?” My hope dwindles. “God, are you there?”
In comparison to my year-long dark night of the soul, this sprained ankle is nothing. And yet, pain in the moment always screams the loudest!
Discouragement is an indicator I’m slipping into a fixed mindset. Gratitude opens the door for a growth mindset.
Yes, amidst the mobility issues and the occasional sharp pain, I am experiencing the presence of Jesus and in such a growth mindset.
Why? Jesus heals my inner man, and at his choice he can heal my body too.
Which do you have? A fixed mindset or a growth one?
Here are some indicators:
Score each on a scale of 0-10. 0 is never. 10 is always. 5 is 50/50.
- When faced with an unexpected roadblock in life, I cave and resign myself to the idea that life is against me.
- When I look in the mirror or weigh myself, I see all my flaws and figure this is the best I’ll ever get. I just need to settle.
- I see my childhood past as a detriment to my future.
- When my friends are promoted or achieve great accomplishments, I immediately wonder why I’m such a loser.
- When I have a day off with nothing to do, I conclude I’m a boring person.
- I see God as disconnected from my circumstances. I’m on my own to figure things out.
Total your score.
50-60- you have a strong bent towards a fixed mindset.
30-50- You struggle with the residue of a fixed mindset, but have glimpses of a growth mindset here and there.
10-30- You lean towards a growth mindset more than a fixed one.
0-10- Growth is your desire, which is great! Continue to seek hope in your relationship with Jesus as you anchor your life in Him.
How to gain a growth mindset.
Think of it as a spectrum. When faced with something unexpected, pause and thank God for it. Ask Him for wisdom and a heart open to his presence as you navigate next steps.
Those next steps might seem very practical, pragmatic. In no way does that suggest God is absent. Often, He works in what you are doing next. “God, give me more of you in this situation.” As you do, your heart changes and you will take on more of a growth mindset.
And, believe me when I say godly manhood always comes from such a growth mindset in Christ.
Which do you operate from?
Warrior On!
David Riffel is the Founder and Executive Director of www.Mentoring-Warriors.com. Having gone through his warrior years (18-30) essentially without a mentor, God has placed in him a heart for warriors, to come alongside them in various ways as they figure out life. David’s newly released book, Mentoring Warriors: Coming Alongside Young Men 18-30, outlines principles for mentoring and gives advice for warriors in six key areas of life: self-management, life skills, education/career, relationships, faith, and identity.
