Lust Letter-Part 2

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MW Editor’s Note: This is the conclusion of an open letter Brandon Smith wrote to men who call themselves Christ-followers. In Part 1, Brandon described the problem of lust and how it’s affected him. In this conclusion, he offers hope by offering a Christ-centered solution.

Acceptance

Breaking this cycle begins with accepting that we must come to God as we are, not as we should be. Too often, we mistakenly believe we need to clean ourselves up—even a little—before fully surrendering our lives and wills to Him.

John 1:7-9 – “But if we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

This is the source of righteousness provided through Jesus Christ blood and where the process of sanctification (shedding of ungodly behavior and thoughts) begins after fixing our eyes on Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:21 – “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.”

Philippians 3:9 – “And may be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own derived from the Law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which comes from God on the basis of faith.”

Romans 6:19 – “I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification.”

2 Thessalonians 2:13 –“But we ought always to give thanks to God for you, brethren beloved by the Lord, because God has chosen you from the beginning for salvation through sanctification by the Spirit and faith in the truth.”

By fixing our eyes on Christ instead of our failures, we strengthen our endurance, allowing Him to carry the weight of our sin. This unburdens us, enabling us to run after Him and follow His lead in ways that naturally address our struggles.

Hebrews 12:1-2 – “Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Colossians 3:1-2 – “Therefore, if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”

Lifestyle Transformation

This is where many Christians—especially in the Western, Americanized Church—struggle to cultivate a truly intimate relationship with Christ. Overcoming the cycle of lust requires deep devotion, not just managing symptoms or maintaining convenient faith. Too often, we settle for comfort until desperation pushes us forward, only to fall back once life stabilizes. True transformation demands consistency, not temporary effort. Without passion, we risk spiritual apathy, unable to confront the root causes beneath the surface level of fruit from deeper sin.

It is important to note that many wives may not immediately recognize a husband’s sexual struggle as spiritual warfare, often taking it as a personal offense. This can compound shame and guilt, trapping men in both marriage and a culture where deep, honest connection outside of work is rare. The result is silence, isolation, and loneliness that fuel the struggle.

At the same time, wives often experience real and valid hurt, confusion, and betrayal when confronted with lust or pornography addiction. While this battle is spiritual, it does not excuse our sin, remove personal responsibility, or invalidate a spouse’s emotional or mental response. This is crucial to remember to prevent our own emotional reactions of rejection, resentment, bitterness, and then anger triggered by our spouse’s response.

This is a major turning point in the life of men, and one that many must reach severe depression or desperation in their life to come to.

Ephesians 4:22-24 – “That, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth”

2 Corinthians 5:17 – “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has passed away, behold, the new has come.”

This brings me back to the question: “What will it cost you?” When will we fully turn to God, devoting our lives to Him, instead of seeking temporary relief from the cycle of shame and regret? Here are some final questions to consider:

1.   Are we in a place of desperation and humility where we can genuinely receive this revelation?

James 1:5

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”

2.   Do we genuinely desire to move from lukewarm faith to passionately seeking God, even if it costs us our former way of life?

Revelation 3:15-16

“I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot; I wish that you were cold or hot.
 So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth.”

3.   Are we in or out?

Joshua 24:15

“If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served that were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Even amid this reality, we must not lose sight of the hope that anchors us. Temptation is not already sin. Conviction is not condemnation. Exposure does not result in rejection by God. The same light that reveals our sin also heals it. Christ calls us to repentance not to shame or crush us, but to free and restore us. If you feel overwhelmed or exposed, know that this awareness is evidence of God’s grace at work. Where sin abounds, grace abounds even more, and no depth of failure places a repentant heart beyond the reach of the cross.

Hebrews 4:15 – “For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet without sin.”

Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted, and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

1 John 1:9 – “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9 – “But He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness…”

Romans 5:20 – “But where sin increased, grace abounded all the more.”

Warrior On!

MW Editor’s Note: If the battle of lust hits hard in your life and you’d like help exploring the solutions Brandon offers in Part 2 of this series, reach out to us at info@mentoring-warriors.com . We are not a counseling service, but we have helped many men walk away from lustful addictions into a healthier view of their manhood sexuality.