Lust Letter-Part 1

Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

MW Editor’s Note: Guest author Brandon Smith is back with a two-part series on overcoming lust. In Part 1 Brandon describes the problem many men face. In Part 2, he unpacks the Biblical solution. Welcome back, Brandon!

Dear Reader,

I was prompted to write this letter in hope of bringing light to a struggle that is too often hidden, minimized, or left unaddressed within the Church. While the sexualized culture of the world undeniably presses in on us, my focus is not primarily on the darkness outside the Church, but on the quiet battles being fought within it by every man.

Isolation

In our fight against lust, we often fail to grasp the true scope of this struggle within the Church. For me, this led to growing feelings—and eventually actions—rooted in loneliness and isolation. One of the enemy’s first strategies is to weaken believers by isolating them and creating vulnerability. In 2 Corinthians 11:3 we read “But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his cunning, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.”

This is a real struggle believers face daily—silently and behind closed doors. Those who worship on Sundays, serve in ministry, lead families, and desire to honor God often become trapped in a cycle of temptation, shame, and secrecy. Lust has become a dressed-up yet festering wound within the Body of Christ, including you and me.

According to the 2024–2025 Barna Group statistics on pornography use and sexual addiction in the Church this is not a minor issue affecting just a few—it is widespread. While that is not good news, it does remind us that we are not alone. Recognizing that is the first step in building confidence to confront this challenge.

54% of Christians reported consuming pornography at least occasionally.

Approximately 12% of all Christians viewed porn weekly.

Approximately 4% of all Christians viewed daily.

In total 75% of Christian men and 40% of Christian women report using pornography at some level.

Even more concerning, many Christians view pornography as compatible with sexual health—about 62% of believers believe a person can view porn regularly and still be sexually healthy.

This fight does not only extend to me and you, but those we tend to raise on a pedestal.

67% of U.S. pastors report having struggled with pornography at some point in their lives; 18% say it is a current struggle.

86% of pastors believe pornography use is common among other pastors.

Only 10% of U.S. Christians say their church offers programs for those struggling with pornography, while 75% of pastors report personally trying to help—even though formal support is rare.

This highlights a church culture that often avoids the issue, leaving individuals isolated instead of fostering community and support for those who struggle.

These numbers should not lead us to excuse or normalize sin but rather reveal the enemy’s widespread strategy against the Church and call us toward greater compassion, vigilance, and commitment to walking in the light together.

1 Peter 5:8 – “Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

Predators isolate their prey. Satan looks for believers who are unguarded, weary, or alone.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.”

In my own journey, the first attacks manifested as retreat and isolation—I pulled away, hiding my struggle. Daily shame and guilt tormented me until God revealed that my fear of rejection was keeping me from seeking real help and consistent accountability with a group who understood and recognized this battle.

The Cycle

In my own life, I fell into a repeat cycle. I would try to “strong-arm” this habitual sin as much as I could despite the wisdom of John 15:5 and Romans 7:18-19.

John 15:5 – “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

Romans 7:18-19 –“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.”

Then, at moments of near hopelessness—conviction, my wife discovering it, or intense guilt—I would finally pour my heart into one person (who I may not even know well) just to limp on.

Time and maturity have shown me this was a form of emotional dumping—a temporary release from the crushing shame and self-loathing my lust had created. It briefly relieved the pressure in my heart, which had been consumed by sickness. (Jeremiah 17:9 – “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?”). But once things settled, I would normalize and convince myself I was “working on it,” I would then quietly box it all back up and carefully hide it back in the closet where no one would see.

Proverbs 26:11 portrays a vivid and honestly disgusting view of this cyclical behavior. “Like a dog that returns to its vomit is a fool who repeats his folly.”

This vicious cycle traps countless men in intense bondage, often going unaddressed. Too often, it takes losing earthly things to recognize the depth of the struggle. Recently, I asked myself: What will it cost a man to genuinely turn back to the Lord—not for temporary relief, but for lasting transformation? Will it cost possessions, career, marriage, relationships, and/or health? How much must be lost before desperation drives true change? The Lord loves us as we are, but He loves us too much to leave us that way. He desires an intimate relationship that lust has fractured.

Isaiah 55:7 – “Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts; and let him return to the Lord, and He will have compassion on him, and to our God, for He will abundantly pardon.”

Proverbs 28:13 – “He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.”

2 Chronicles 7:14– “If My people who are called by My name humble themselves, pray, seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, forgive their sin, and heal their land.”

Paul states in Ephesians 5:11-13 “Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret. But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.”

Warrior On!

MW Editor’s Note: If this struggle with lust hits home with you, and you need help processing things, reach out to us at info@mentoring-warriors.com We are not a counseling service, but we can provide hope and direction on a Christ-focused path forward.