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MW Editor’s Note: This is the conclusion of a two-part post of a talk Mentoring Warriors’ Executive Director, David Riffel, gave to the Heartland Men’s Leadership group in Wichita. Check out this vital secret to becoming a real man for Christ.
My teen years were filled with insecurity, doubt, and passivity, all while my hormones were raging. By 17, I was struggling with depression and was seriously contemplating suicide.
Somehow, through it all, God was at work.
Fast forward, I’m now married to a fantastic woman, a Canadian at that, who loves Jesus with all her heart!! We were introduced by a matchmaker (story for another time).
Our son, Justin, was turning 10, and it suddenly hit me.
If these first 10 years of his life went by that fast, the next decade will fly by even faster!
He will be 20 before I know it; through adolescence, driving, sports, maybe college, perhaps even married or soon to be! (He got married at 21).
So, I made a conscious decision, in Christ, to invest in Justin’s emerging manhood by not only doing things with him regularly, but also setting out manhood milestones with him:
Every two years, we set out another part of his manhood story.
Age 10- We bought camping gear. First, it was in our backyard, then area lakes and hiking trails. Pre-teen boys love to start campfires!
Age 12- I took Justin to Oklahoma to hike the Ouachita Mountains. We listened to Family Life’s Passport to Purity adventure talks about becoming a man. The humorous part of this trip was when seventh-grade Justin asked me, “Dad, what’s the name of this thing we are listening to?” I told him, “Passport to Purity.” He chuckled. “Ah, I told all my buddies at school you were taking me on a passport to puberty weekend!”
At age 14- Justin invited his best friend and his dad to do a four-day, 110-kilometer backpacking and canoe trip in Canada’s Algonquin Provincial Park. Portaging our gear and canoes on a 5-kilometer hike from one lake to the next. Getting caught on a lake during a lightning storm. Getting a trouble hook caught in his buddy’s scalp while fishing for trout. Keeping an eye out for bears. We were all tested. Exhausted. We stunk, but man, was it a formidable manhood adventure!
At age 16-We set up a Manhood Walk. Using the following verse
1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.
I invited four other men to join me and Justin on a manhood walk. With five character qualities in this verse, I set Justin out five miles from our house. A man who mentored Justin would meet him at a mile-marker, walk with him for that mile, talking about the assigned particular character quality. Justin was born in November. Let’s just say his hoodie wasn’t quite warm enough! Which made coming home much more welcoming, especially since about a dozen of his friends were there to eat buffalo wings and pizza!
At 18, we celebrated his high school graduation, sending Justin and two other of his good friends out to Colorado on their own to hike their first 14er (mountain over 14,000 feet tall).
At age 20, we went on a father-son biking/camping trip before he got married. A great time to talk about marriage and manhood.
Bestow godly masculinity to the young man you are mentoring. You will NOT do it PERFECTLY, BUT INCREASINGLY SO. You can show him a life lived in Christ. This is where TRUE manhood is centered.
Justin is now 29. He’s in his 4th year of medical residency.
He now has a son, 18-month-old Francis David, PLUS he has twins in the cooker! One of which is another son.
When Francis David (aka Frankie D) was born, Justin was elated!
“I have a son! I have a son!”
He would talk to baby Francis and say, “Son, we are going to go on so many adventures together, just like my dad did with me. I want to pour myself into you and the young man God has for you to become.”
When I heard him say that, my heart leaped for joy. THANK YOU, JESUS!
That is what we call generational masculinity!
The tide changed dramatically in our family of men because I committed to Christ to raise my son in the ways of the Lord.
In saying that, I DO NOT throw my dad under the bus. I now know that he raised me as he was raised, and deep down, he loved me.
A few years ago, Justin and I had a weekend away at a cabin in Eastern Kansas. While canoeing, we talked about manhood and how I raised him (he was 25 at the time). I’ll never forget what Justin said.
“Dad, I know that grandpa struggled with how to raise you, his only son. And, I thank you for being intentional with me. Because someday it will have an impact on any sons God gives me.”
That’s five generations of Riffel men.
My grandpa John Henry born in1895
My dad Ed born in 1934
Me; 1959
Justin: 1995 – one hundred years after his great-grandpa
Francis David: 2024
And, another son to be born in 2026
That’s 131 years of generations of men, just in my family.
Here’s my point. YOU are here at this time in history to impact the next generation of men for Christ. They might be your blood sons, adopted sons, or young men at your church, in your neighborhood, even at your work, who need the influence of NOT PERFECTLY but INCREASINGLY SO men whose hearts are on fire for Jesus Christ.
This is what mentoring is about.
At Mentoring Warriors, we do two things:
- Equip men to come alongside younger men
- Prepare young men for life
All from a Christ-centered perspective.
We give you essential tools to go deeper in relationships. There is more to conversation than weather, sports, and cars.
We walk through six areas of manhood that every young man (and older men) face:
- Self-management
- Life-skills
- Education/Career
- Faith
- Relationships
- Identity
We’ve developed an online self-assessment you can use to evaluate your own life in those six areas and the young man you are mentoring.
I’ve written a book called Mentoring Warriors that walks you through these essential tools
We have events that you can plug into:
- Boot Camp in a weekend training events
- Summer Colorado Mountain Man Adventure
- Burgers and Guns Night
- One-One mentoring
- Small group settings
Life on Life is the key. It’s about building relationships where the masks are dropped and the true man is seen and matured in Christ.
Generational Masculinity.
Are you in? Are you ready to live out the 2 Timothy 2:2 call to invest in the next generation?
Or
Are you going to let someone else pick up the baton?
I’m going to be brutally honest here. Dropping this ball is giving the Enemy a foothold in your life. Do NOT discredit or discount yourself. The failures, the struggles, the mis-steps in your life… if you have surrendered them to Jesus, then you are well qualified to come alongside a young man who may be facing the same things and needs someone to walk with them through the journey.
It’s time to take a stand!
Warrior On!
If God is challenging you to be a change-agent in godly generational masculinity, reach out to us at our Help Line. We can get you started in the right direction.
David Riffel is the Founder and Executive Director of www.Mentoring-Warriors.com. Having gone through his warrior years (18-30) essentially without a mentor, God has placed in him a heart for warriors, to come alongside them in various ways as they figure out life. David’s newly released book, Mentoring Warriors: Coming Alongside Young Men 18-30, outlines principles for mentoring and gives advice for warriors in six key areas of life: self-management, life skills, education/career, relationships, faith, and identity.
