Generational Masculinity-Part 1

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MW Editor’s Note: This is part 1 of a talk that Mentoring Warrior’s Executive Director, David Riffel, gave at the Heartland Men’s Leadership meeting in Wichita. Whether you are a mentor or one looking to be mentored, check out this story; it’s something essential for every man.

I do not need to convince you that our nation, our culture, our masculinity is in serious crisis. We need only look at the recent events with Charlie Kirk’s assassination and realize that something is DESPERATELY wrong. 

Spiritual warfare is a reality that many of us, unfortunately, ignore. We have blinded ourselves, thinking if we simply go to church, read our Bibles, and check off the boxes, all will be well.

I’m here to tell you that for as much as we SHOULD be involved at church and as much as we SHOULD be in the Word, we CANNOT let our faith become silent. Your faith, my faith are not private. God NEVER intended it to be just Jesus and you. Jesus and me. We are part of a much larger story which include reaching the next generation for Christ.

Satan is alive and on the attack right here, right now.  He’s doing everything he can to get our eyes off Jesus through…

1. Destruction: doing things that destroy our body and mind.
2. Distractions-getting our eyes off Jesus to lesser things
3. Deceptions-convincing us the truth is a lie, and the lie is the truth
4. Disunity-causing divisions where there should be peace.
5. Desensitizing-numbing our senses to the evil around us.
6. Deconstructing-dismantling our faith until we have no idea what we believe.

Whether the next generation of men will be following Jesus is largely in our hands. God wants to equip you and me to reach the next generation for Christ.

At Mentoring Warriors, we focus on equipping men to come alongside young men (we call them warriors) ages 18-30. As a friend of mine says, the 20s are puberty for adulthood.

So many first-time choices and decisions are being made in that age range; choices that will impact the trajectory of their lives and, frankly, the communities they live in.

I personally know young men in their twenties who are:

• Accountants
• Doctors
• Lawyers
• Firefighters
• Policemen
• IT analysts
• Teachers
• Coaches
• Engineers
• Running for elected office
• A&P mechanics
• Youth pastors
• Architects
• Barbers
• Construction workers
• Farmers
• Financial analysts

And yes, some are

Husbands

Fathers

And in our current culture, where non-biblical woke ideology is increasingly pervasive, these young men are being torn in different directions, other than following Christ.

It’s why you can have a teenager grow up in a conservative, Christian home, attend church and youth group, and end up committing crimes, turning against the very values he was taught. Their identities as men are in turmoil.  What is a man, anyway?

A young man I mentor, Parker, age 28, sent me a text.  We were talking about passivity in us as men and the need to take a stand for our faith, counting the cost for Christ. 

Amen Dave. You know I’ve thought about that in a similar light. It’s about self-worth. The enemy attacks me there and gets me to think and say things about myself that aren’t true. Hating myself or throwing away my identity and feeling worthless, but no, I am who Jesus says I am. A child of God who has worth in the kingdom. As a church, we need to speak that life and that worth into others around us. There’s a big division in our country because people stopped talking, and the church got silent too. We need to bring that life back to the community and speak about Jesus! People are radicalized to this point of violence and trying to shut people like Charlie up because of this division. 

So, now that I have you either thoroughly depressed, ready to throw in the towel, or ready to take a stand, I want to challenge you to think of something that has been on God’s heart since Creation:

Generational Masculinity

In Deuteronomy 6, we see Moses telling the people

“Now this is the commandment—the statutes and the rules—that the Lord your God commanded me to teach you, that you may do them in the land to which you are going over, to possess it, that you may fear the Lord your God, you and your son and your son’s son, by keeping all his statutes and his commandments, which I command you, all the days of your life, and that your days may be long. 

In 2 Timothy 2:2 we read:  (Which, by the way, is one of our Mentoring Warrior verses we live by) and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.

Paul to Timothy to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.

FOUR Generations!

I’m going to tell you a personal story of how this generational masculinity is shaking out. This story didn’t start too great, but wait till the end.

My grandfather, John Henry, was born in 1895. He grew up going to church, often walking or by horse. My dad was one of four sons. He was born in 1934.

During my childhood and teen years, I never saw my grandpa attend church.  Perhaps once, when I was age 15, I was baptized. Grandma would faithfully go to church, while ole John Henry would stay at home and watch wrestling on TV. He was gruff, grumpy, and just no fun to be around.

In 1979, my Grandma died suddenly. She was 80. She had a heart attack while visiting my family in Wichita. It shocked all of us, especially Grandpa. He was 85 when Grandma died. Before the funeral, her pastor explained the Gospel to him in such a way that he repented and came to Christ.

I was 19 and at university when all this happened. I recall getting pencil-written letters from John Henry telling me how important it was to focus on Jesus and read my Bible. He said he was learning all this very late in life, but he loved me so much.

God, what did you do to my grandpa!  He lived 2 more years and passed away at 87. Talk about a 180 life change! The Gospel is real!

That’s great for my grandpa, but I will say that one of the effects of my dad growing up in a home when Grandpa was not walking with the Lord is that manhood was not bestowed on my dad.

My dad grew up with a significant stuttering problem. It plagued him his entire life. The only time he didn’t stutter was when he sang or spoke German. 

As a counselor told me, “When a man cannot fix himself, anger becomes the way he expresses himself.”  

And, so in the home I grew up in, I’d run and hide to avoid the yelling. Nothing was ever good enough.  I recall being 12 and wanting to help my dad out by mowing the lawn before he got home from work.

Now, what 12-year-old mows a lawn perfectly?  I definitely missed some spots.

When he got home, I eagerly ran out to greet him, hoping he’d see I mowed the yard and compliment me on my efforts.

“You missed here, and over there and this isn’t right. Can’t you do anything right?”

My 12 year old heart was crushed. I ran inside and cried.

If I asked him to play basketball with me, he’d complain. If I asked for money, I’d get yelled at. Now, granted, we were poor. (To give you an idea, during 6th and 7th grades, our only income was a paper route. We earned $200 a month for a family of 5.)

Yeah, it was stressful. 

So, at this point in the story, counting me, that’s three generations of men in my family, and other than grandpa coming to Christ at 85, there’s not a whole lot of godly masculinity being passed along.

The story, however, takes a turn towards hope. Next time, we’ll carry on with this essential story of generational masculinity that leads toward mentoring.

Warrior On!