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Officiating the wedding of a young couple my wife and I mentor, we arrived early to prepare. I found the groomsmen getting ready in the church’s basement, ironing shirts and hanging out until the ceremony started. One of the groomsmen, Kepler, and I struck up a conversation about mentoring and manhood.
“What are three things a guy like me needs to know to become a man of significance?” Kepler asked.
“Great question!” I responded.
That led to a conversation about the three essentials every man needs to become a godly man.
#1. Beyond anything else, beyond any other priority, to become a man of significance, enter into an ongoing conversational relationship with Jesus.
Jesus died on the cross for our sin. Once for all, he paid the penalty for our brokenness, our rebellion. In that, we not only confess our sin and are forgiven, but now we have the awesome privilege of entering into a conversational relationship with him.
Think of it! The God of the Universe wants to have a personal, intimate, conversational relationship with you! Yes, through his Word, the Bible, and through prayer. Not in any sort of a religious sense, but in the context of the macro and micro moments of your life.
Revelation 3:20 talks about Jesus knocking on the door of our life. If we open the door and invite him in, he will come in and commune with us.
There is no circumstance, no emotion, no physical, mental, or spiritual situation that you face that is outside of the presence of Jesus. The question is, will you invite him in?
As you grow in your conversational walk with Jesus, your attitude, your spirit will increasingly align with his. You will start bearing more evidence (fruit) of the Spirit (See Galatians 5:22-23.)
What’s amazing is as your grow in intimacy with Jesus, it will overflow into your relationships with others, especially in your pursuit of a woman. Whether single, wanting to be married or already married, there is a direct correlation between the health of your walk with Jesus and how you love others.
Priority one: nurture a conversational relationship with Jesus.
#2. Become a man of courage.
Ever since the fall of Adam and Eve, passivity is the sinful malady we face every day. It’s the urge to shrink back, let someone else do the work. We question our abilities, choosing to live with lies about our true identity.
Courage is at the heart of what God wants for godly character.
1 Corinthians 16:13-14 says:
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.”
To act like men is to be courageous. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to act in obedience to God’s calling and purposes.
There have been times where the task or challenge ahead of me scares me to death. “Anything, but this, Jesus.” I plead.
And, yet, Jesus reminds me that he is my sufficiency. In him, I have what it takes to be courageous. So do you.
When faced with a challenge, you have the amazing opportunity to invite the Holy Spirit into the situation. He will give you the courage to face what’s coming.
Become a courageous man.
#3. Find your purpose and calling in Jesus. God created you to work. Work is good, and work is part of being a man. Unless you are engaged in illegal work, your calling is to bring order to and steward the circle of creation that God has assigned to your particular work.
A young man had a job of directing traffic during collegiate home football games. With over 50,000 people attending the games, there are nearly 20,000 vehicles and RVs to park in a nearly 40-acre parking lot. Order and efficiency are vital to his job.
Kepler, the groomsman I was visiting with at the wedding, is majoring in civil engineering. What if Kepler doesn’t bring order to and steward the roads and bridges he designs? Think of the chaos that could ensue.
At a recent Mentoring Warriors Burgers and Guns Night, we talked about these three essentials. I polled the group of guys on the types of jobs they had:
- Engineer
- Architect
- Ag Technology
- Construction
- Electrician
- Landscaping
- Retired
- Welder
- CNC operator
- Accountant
- Legal aide
- Attorney
- Student
- IT analyst
- Office Manager
God is at work in every one of those vocations. He’s at work in yours. The clue is to figure out how God is at work and intentionally participate in what he’s doing.
As an architect, I blend both creativity and analytical abilities together to design buildings that impact people.
One thing that’s helped me understand how God is at work in my career is writing a personal mission statement.
“To bring value through creativity and order that enhances the lives I serve, from dream to reality.”
Your work matters. Do not downplay it, selling yourself short. You might feel you are just wasting your time, doing something monotonous, something no one truly knows or appreciates.
NOTHING could be further from the truth!
When you combine the first two priorities listed above: developing a conversational relationship with Jesus and becoming a man of courage, you will soon discover that your work matters. God has a purpose and calling for what you do.
Finally, here’s the clincher to everything said above. To get the most out of those three essentials, do them in the context of a mentoring relationship.
Proverbs 27:17 says it all: “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”
You fall into one of two categories: Either you have a mentor or you don’t.
If you do not have a mentor, now is the time to get one. Do not expect them to find you. You take the initiative, reach out. Invite them for coffee and ask them for advice on how to grow in the three essentials listed above.
If you have a mentor, do the same. Pull your phone out, text your mentor, and grab a coffee to discuss these three essentials.
In both cases, you pay. Buy him coffee or lunch. By doing so, you show respect for the wisdom he offers.
Whichever category you find yourself in, if you do not reach out, you will be the one losing out.
Now is the time!
Warrior On!
MW Editor’s Note: If you do not have a mentor, check out this article https://mentoring-warriors.com/2021/04/finding-a-mentor-3/
David Riffel is the Founder and Executive Director of www.Mentoring-Warriors.com. Having gone through his warrior years (18-30) essentially without a mentor, God has placed in him a heart for warriors, to come alongside them in various ways as they figure out life. David’s newly released book, Mentoring Warriors: Coming Alongside Young Men 18-30, outlines principles for mentoring and gives advice for warriors in six key areas of life: self-management, life skills, education/career, relationships, faith, and identity.
