The Art of Humility

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MW Editor’s Note: These are notes taken from a talk Joe Skillen gave at the 2024 Stand Firm Men’s Conference in Wichita, Kansas. Joe is a Teaching and Discipleship Pastor at Ridgepoint Church.

G.K Chesterton’s quote on humility goes like this:

“Humility is the luxurious art of reducing ourselves.”

Humility and luxury seem to be an oxymoron. They don’t fit together. Luxury exudes prestige. Arrogance.  Humility, on the other hand, conjures up notions of lowliness. Less than.

Paul, in his letter to the Philippians, (chapter 2), writes this about humility.

3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.

Selfish ambition and vain conceit would assuredly not quality as humility. They fall into the narcissistic bucket.  

Jesus followers are not to be narcissistic. Always talking about yourself, cutting in line, first on the beach, as if you are the center of the universe. A co-worker recently participated in a golf tournament. He commented on the cockiness of some golfers. Strutting around, puffing up their abilities, as if there was no one better than them on the course. 

Counting others more significant than yourselves.  Now that is an interesting approach.  I used to think that meant I was to be the doormat. The no one in the room. Ignored. Truth is counting others more significant recognizes the immense value you have in the eyes of God and considering other’s interest with greater value than your own. 

When you are having a conversation with someone, who is getting the most airtime?  Is it all about you or are you more interested in others?  Yes, look to your own interests, but when the conversation is over, make it your goal that the other person felt seen, heard and loved.

Humility is an art. Think the art of music. Humilty is the bass notes in a song. Humilty brings depth to the relationship. Without humility the song is shallow. Humilty brings the art of relationships into deeper more meaningful experiences.

The art of humility adds color to life.

Here is an example. 

In 2019, Silvia Grecco a mother from Brazil takes her blind 12-year-old son, Nikollas, to a professional soccer game. She describes every play in full detail so that her son can experience soccer, even if he can’t see it.  https://inside.fifa.com/news/a-mother-brings-game-to-life-for-her-blind-son  

That is humility for the long haul.

In the Fall of 2021, a rare scene went viral when a high school football player helped his opponent with a calf cramp during a game. 

https://people.com/sports/high-school-football-player-goes-viral-for-helping-opponent-during-game

Humility sees beyond competition.

Humble souls don’t gaslight. They don’t manipulate relationships in a way that gives them the upper hand.  A husband gaslighted his wife by convincing her she was mentally ill.

Jesus-followers living with true humility never gaslight.  They build up others even if it costs them time, money, and social capital.

Humble souls see the bigger picture. Life is not about you. 

The Bible Recap has a quote “Humility is the narrow zone where you are not building yourself up or beating yourself up.”  

That narrow zone is where Jesus lives.  Jesus is the epitome of true humility.

Let’s read on in Philippians 2 about Jesus’ humility.

5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

When a man is yielded to Christ, the Spirit brings humility to his manhood. When he resists the Spirit, he stunts his spiritual maturity. 

Humility has its rewards.

Because Jesus humbled himself, God exalted him.

9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Humility brings true glory.

I know you are not Jesus, nor am I.  We never will be. But, through his humility, we will be lifted up. Salvation becomes not a destination but a quality of relationship with God and others, because you chose to repent of sin (the opposite of humility) and live under the almighty and yet gracious hand of God.

For the longest time, I thought confidence and humility were opposed to each other. That to be confident in myself is akin to arrogance and pride.  False confidence is such, but true humility breeds true confidence. 

Growing up, I’d quickly tear myself down because that is what I heard from others about my actions. “What is wrong with you?”  “Can’t you do anything right?”  It’s what contributed to my suicidal thoughts when I was 17.  

What I’ve come to see, albeit later in my adulthood is that true self-confidence is rooted in who God says I am.  My identity is in him.  When I, by faith, crucify self with Christ, he lives his life through me, and true humility comes out without me trying.

For you to say “I am humble” is Arrogancy 101. If someone sees humility in you, that is a far better place to be.

Don’t muster up humility. Yield to Jesus and humility will follow.

Warrior On!