Looking for a Mentor

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MW Editor’s Note:  These are notes taken from an opening talk given by Lancaster Mfungwe (Bishop of EBCM) at a Mentoring Warriors mentor training seminar held at the Evangelical Baptist Church of Malawi headquarters in Liwonde, Malawi. 

Mentoring is not a new idea of the 21st Century.  There are many examples throughout the Bible we can learn from:

Moses and Joshua

Deborah and Barak

Elijah and Elisah

Paul and Titus

Paul and Timothy

Jesus and his disciples 

The entire purpose behind mentoring is to assist others in their lives; to walk more closely with God.  Mentoring must include helping others in their faith.

Pastors in Malawi at a Mentoring Warriors Training Seminar

The question always is, “Who are you following?”

Let’s look at essentials you need to see in your mentor.  Many of these come from Titus 2:1-5.

Character

I do not mean a jokester, but he can have a sense of humor!  I am referring to the core of his manhood.  Is he a man of his word?  Does he follow through?  Jesus was the best mentor because he was a man of his word.

Sober-minded

Does he think with sound judgment?  Is he able to think through the logical outcomes of thoughts and ideas?  A sober man will be level-headed. I want to say in one sense he is both creative in his ideas and analytical at the same time; balanced.

Every day life

In his daily living, does he exemplify a life lived for Jesus?  I am not talking perfection. Mentors are in the process of growth themselves and will at times need help course-correcting their ways. But, if you were to spend a day with them, or perhaps a weekend, what kind of examples in their daily life would you see that models Jesus?

Steadfast

We each have things that test our patience, but the overall question is are they able to stay the course?  Do they take the long-view into consideration? Or are they a short-fused man? Do they get angry quickly because something didn’t go the way they wanted? If they mentor you and you are struggling to make progress in a certain area of life, do they stick with you or do they say “I’ve had enough of you, be gone!”?

Sound in Faith and Love

This is very important. I know of men who have great understanding of biblical doctrine. They can explain scripture inside and out. But they are not loving men. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13 that if a man has many good qualities, but does not have love, he is a clanging symbol. A noisy disturbance of a man.

Ask your mentor Bible questions, not to quiz him on knowledge, but to see if love is woven through his understanding of faith. 

In 1 Corinthians 11:1, Paul says something very important.

“Be imitators of me as I imitate Christ.”

No mentor is perfect. Please keep this in mind at all times. Your mentor will make mistakes. Sometimes his advice is sincere, but may not be exactly what you need at the moment. He may be in a tough situation and makes a foolish decision that could even lead to sin. Before you write him off, turn the tables and ask if you slipped up in an area, would you want your mentor to drop you because of your choice?

This is not an excuse to justify sin. It is a reminder that a mentor needs to follow Jesus, not perfectly but increasingly so, just like you do.

What governs his heart? Look at the overview of his heart, not just one thing. Is he addicted to things like:

Food

Drugs

Alcohol

Phone

TV

Sports

Every one of us needs a mentor. Find someone to older to encourage you as you learn to mentor. 

A few final thoughts…

Look at his worldview. Is Jesus a portion of his life or is Jesus his life?

Is the Bible a source of academics or does he see it as transformation?

Is he an island mentor?  By that, what I mean is does he mentor without having others speak into his life?  None of us are islands. God created us for relationships and mentoring is all about building godly relationships.

We are told in the book of James that if we lack wisdom to ask God.  When you are looking for a mentor, ask God for wisdom.  And, in you becoming a mentor, ask God for wisdom, too.

Warrior On!