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MW Editor’s note: Be sure to check out part 1 of this fire pit talk held at a Mentoring Warriors Mountain Man Adventure in Colorado. Every man has an identity; some false, some true. In this part, be sure to do the steps to discover who God says you are and are not.
Let’s look at the first thing we want to ask God about your manhood identity.
- The negative-false identity you carry inside of you.
Take time to pray. Ask God to open your heart and mind to what he wants to say to you. If you can, call or text a friend now and ask them to pray with you. After that take a journal and write down this question.
“Jesus, show me something false that I believe about myself.”
Write the first thing that comes to mind. Don’t debate with yourself if it was God speaking or if it was your mind. Write it down. It might be one thing or it might be a longer list. The length is less important than you being honest enough to write it down.
Now, take that list and quietly, ask God to show you a glimpse of where that false identity comes from.
My list includes the false identity of inconvenience. being in the way, not worth knowing.
Where does that come from, Jesus?
Some of it has its roots in my boyhood. It’s what I heard spoken to me repeatedly, and I took it to heart. My tender boyhood heart was wounded. Yes, part of that identity came from words spoken to me. It also came from within. I believing lies from the Enemy that I am a disappointment.
Take your list and right now, find someone you aren’t related to and openly confess that false identity to each other. Remember James 5:16.
16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.
If you are honest, that was hard. No one likes to start by admitting your shortcomings.
Let’s move on.
2. This second part is crucial to the journey of manhood identity you are on.
Pray again. This time there is another question we want you to ask God.
“Jesus, who do you say I am?”
Taking out your journal, jot down the first things that come to mind. Write down exactly what God says about you. The list could be short or long. Be transparent. Scribe it out.
Now, come to God again and read this list back to him. “Jesus, you say that I am….”
After doing that, find the person you spoke with regarding your first question. Tell him who God says you are.
James 5:16 comes into play here, again.
You will know your true identity is from God because NOTHING God says about you is derogatory. In Christ, I am not an inconvenience. In Christ, I am not in the way. In Christ, I am seen, known, and loved.
It is in that identity that you and I operate out of freedom and hope.
- Passive men live by a false identity
- Addicted men have a false notion they are unworthy
- Violent men think power controls.
All of the above is fear-based.
When you and I as men live from the truth of who God says you are, you thrive. You come into your own. You take on responsibilities, step up to the plate, roll up your sleeves, and discover your part of the greater Kingdom adventure God has for you.
A man who lives out of his true identity in Christ takes action and it ALWAYS involves relationships with others.
Let’s wrap up this talk about identity with one final thought.
Think Generational Masculinity
On this Colorado trip, we have men of all ages; from 13 to almost 70. None of us are here as isolated men. Our lives are interconnected.
In August, Mentoring Warriors is going to Africa to take about a dozen young African men much like some of us on a mountain man adventure to the Zomba Plateau. Much like we are doing here, we will explore the depths of God and how he’s wired us as men.
One thing Africans understand that we Americans ignore is this idea of interdependence. Their lives are interconnected. Our American spirit of independence has some great aspects to it, but when it comes to our identity, independence works against the deeper aspects of your manhood that God wants to raise in you; aspects that need the iron sharpens iron interaction that comes from living in an authentic community.
If you want to take this challenge of discovering your manhood identity seriously, then right now, before you do anything else, before you go to bed tonight, repent of the false identity you have been carrying around like a ball and chain, and embrace your true identity in Christ. Do it in the context of a conversation with someone you trust.
And, if you live in different cities, don’t let geography be an excuse to not engage in deeper relationships. Use technology to your advantage. I say this from my experience, my manhood identity flourishes in the context of authentic, courageously vulnerable man-to-man relationships.
You will not regret living in your true identity.
Warrior On!
MW Editor’s note: We take issues of identity seriously. It is often there that God does his deepest work. Freedom from sins and strongholds finds its win here. Let Jesus meet you in your identity. If God met you in this post by doing the two steps above, email us at info@mentoring-warriors.com We want to hear about it!
David Riffel is the Founder and Executive Director of www.Mentoring-Warriors.com. Having gone through his warrior years (18-30) essentially without a mentor, God has placed in him a heart for warriors, to come alongside them in various ways as they figure out life. David’s newly released book, Mentoring Warriors: Coming Alongside Young Men 18-30, outlines principles for mentoring and gives advice for warriors in six key areas of life: self-management, life skills, education/career, relationships, faith, and identity.
