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MW Editor’s note: This is part two of an excerpt of teaching Mentoring Warriors presented at Chisomos Theological School in Malawi, Africa. Be sure to check out Part 1 to get the entire story.
TIYENI. Let us. We are. When you think about mentoring in the context of these passages in Hebrews, it invokes a deeper life-on-life interdependence than most American Christians are used to. It also invokes a deeper life-on-life interdependence that most African Christians are used to, as well.
Jesus spent three years investing in twelve men. He modeled his unity with his heavenly Father to them. He loved them completely, laying his life down for them. He commissioned them to go and make disciples of all nations. (Matthew 28:18-20).
Jesus mentored, and he calls us to do the same in a very interdependent way. Dependent on him through the Holy Spirit, and interdependent on one another as the body of Christ.
When Jesus started his ministry, he was 30 years old. By all rights, a young man at the age of maturity where he could be considered a rabbi in the Jewish world.
How old were his disciples?
From biblical studies, we see Jesus’ disciples were between 16 and 23 years old. In terms of American age classifications, they were between a high school sophomore to a recent college graduate. In other words, boys becoming men.
Jesus saw something in them that caused him to call them to follow him. Each disciple had a unique personality, including quirks and idiosyncracies that would make some of us question Jesus.
Why did you pick him, Jesus?
Why does Jesus pick any of us? Why does Jesus want to do life with us?
TIYENI. Let us. We are.
Let’s circle back to Hebrews 10:24.
24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,
When you are in a mentoring relationship, you look for creative ways to stir each other up to love the way Jesus loves. You spur each other on to do good things for each other and to others outside of you all.
Where I live, I know of two groups of young men in their mid-twenties to early thirties who are practicing TIYENI.
Years ago, as single guys, they connected through faith in Jesus. Some were in crisis. Others were new to the faith. Others walking consistently with Jesus. They found common interests: sports, music, food, adventure trips.
Over the seasons, they met consistently and dug into God’s Word. They listened to each other’s hearts and minds as they processed the myriad of aspects of becoming men.
Sometimes it was a celebratory slap on the back. Other times it was laying on of hands in prayer as one poured his broken heart out to them.
Other times it was intervention when one of them made stupid choices. Too much drinking. Sleeping with his girlfriend before marriage. Falling into a porn addiction.
These guys are finding jobs, getting married, being in each other’s weddings, having babies, buying houses, helping each other with house renovation projects, fixing cars, and camping.
As young men, they are practicing TIYENI. They also realized at their young adult ages, they need older men in their lives. What is awesome is how they intentionally seek out godly mentors to speak into their lives.
One group of these young men found two older men to mentor them. They began meeting early on Friday mornings before work to gain godly wisdom and be collectively mentored. TIYENI. Let us. We are.
In ALL of it, they invited Jesus in.
There are men in other cities who have been practicing this way of TIYENI (life together) for decades. Men who were in their twenties during university decided to bring Jesus into every aspect of their manhood and are now in their 60s and 70s and still doing life together. They are also investing in younger generations to do the same.
When we talk about doing life together in such mentoring relationships, we are talking an unmitigated permission to address any and every aspect of each other’s manhood:
- Finances
- Time management
- Speech
- Conduct
- Relationships
- Faith
- Possessions
- Marriage health
- Sexual purity
- Bodily consumptions
This is not a legalistic policing of each other. It is a mutual freedom to be an open book such that there is no aspect of your manhood where Jesus is not present.
TIYENI Let us. We are.
We American Christians have much to learn from our African brothers about interdependence. When it comes to interdependence, the challenge is to go beyond social norms of politeness. Yes, be mutually respectful, honoring, encouraging, and hospitable. Just, do not fake life. If you are in pain. If your heart is broken, be courageously vulnerable. Let those you do life with know. TIYENI.
Seek out a mentor with whom you can be gut-level honest.
Jesus’ disciples could be that way with him. Why? He loved them without condition.
One of the young men I’ve mentored was arrested at age 19 for having sex with a 15-year-old girl. He was sent to prison for four years. When he was interviewed by the University doing research for my book, Mentoring Warriors, he was asked what having me as a mentor meant to him.
He referred to the numerous times I’d drive over 400 miles round trip to see him in prison. When I’d bring the Bible and help him with various things like his release plan, and relapse plan. He mentioned the times I would phone him to see how he was doing, and pray for him and with him. But, there was one thing he added to this interview that says it all.
“He (referring to me) is so safe, so unconditional in loving me, that if I were to tell him I just shot and killed someone, he would not walk away from me. He would say “Well, call 911 and I’ll meet you at the jail.” It’s this kind of character that makes for a great mentor.”
TIYENI. Let us. We are.
Who believes in you regardless? Who loves you regardless? Who is willing to do life with you? No man will ever experience the depths of his manhood without a mentor.
No mentor will ever experience the fullness of his manhood without investing in the lives of the men around him.
TIYENI
Warrior On!
MW Editor’s note: If any of this teaching on doing life together ignites a fire in you reach out to us at info@mentoring-warriors.com
David Riffel is the Founder and Executive Director of www.Mentoring-Warriors.com. Having gone through his warrior years (18-30) essentially without a mentor, God has placed in him a heart for warriors, to come alongside them in various ways as they figure out life. David’s newly released book, Mentoring Warriors: Coming Alongside Young Men 18-30, outlines principles for mentoring and gives advice for warriors in six key areas of life: self-management, life skills, education/career, relationships, faith, and identity.
