Negative Me; True Me

Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

MW Editor’s note. Mentoring Warriors welcomes warrior Parker Findley to the guest author’s tribe. Parker shares some of his journey from false to true identity.

In his book “Living Fearlessly” author Jamie Winship tackles the root of fear; our identity. Boiling it down, living with any measure of false identity (lies) takes a man into dark holes that feel more like an abyss than the initial exciting appeal they try to sell us on.  

True identity is found in seeing ourselves the way God sees us. The more we live in His identity, the more we live fearlessly.

There are two questions Winship asks.  As part of my personal manhood trek, I’ve been challenged by my mentor to dive deep into them.  

Truth is like a lot of guys, I struggle in certain areas. My boyhood to manhood challenges include shifting from insecurity to confidence. Impurity to purity. Laziness to responsibility. 

The first question is:

What are words that describe the negative me?

Oh, here we go. I’m going to lay it all on the table.  My mentor calls it courageous vulnerability.

• Broken
• Limited
• Ordinary
• Tainted
• Irredeemable
• Not “Christian” enough
• Dirty
• Shameful
• Addicted
• Restricted
• Trapped
• Alone
• Inconsequential
• Unworthy
• Conceited
• Lustful
• Selfish
• Rushed
• Hectic
• Frantic
• Anxious
• Prideful
• Fearful
• Unbearable

That list is upsetting. Disconcerting. Makes me cringe to think that’s how I see myself. Just not measuring up. Yeah, sinful for sure. Not sure if any of those are on your list. All I know is if I stick with this list it makes me depressed and downright hopeless. 

With these swirling around my head, think of the kind of man I’m becoming. Not a good example; and I call myself a Christian.

The second question is equally thought-provoking.

Jesus, who do you say I am?

I went off to a quiet place, no earbuds, just me and a pen and paper. I’m learning how to listen to Jesus, Not sure I hear everything he says, but here is what I heard him say to me.

• A son
• A co-heir
• Shielded
• Protected
• Redeemed
• Forgiven
• Loved
• Pursued
• Pure
• Clean
• White as snow by Jesus’ blood
• Brave
• Confident
• Unshakeable
• Adventurer
• Joyful
• United with Christ
• Accompanied
• Cared for
• Unashamed
• Strong via Jesus
• Warrior
• Faithful
• Child of God
• Found

It took me a while to jot those down. The more I listened, though, the more I heard him say to me. Once I looked at the list, I realized how much better that list is compared to the negative list. In fact that negative list is all lies from the Enemy. Whenever I fall into sin, I can trace it back to one or more of these lies. They can pile us so quickly and next thing I know I’ve done “stupid”, again.

The good thing is as I linger over who God says I am, my identity changes. My willingness to stay strong in Christ helps me resist temptation. 

In all honesty, my emotions were all over the place. Frustration over being conned by the Enemy with such lies for such a long time; since I was a teen. And yet, tears of gratitude for who God says I am, and the hope that this manhood journey can take on a far better path.

A path of hope and confidence that makes my future look a lot brighter! 

I’m about to get married! I’m looking forward to marrying my sweetie in new ways cause the more I see myself the way God does, it spills over to my marriage and someday with our kids.

One thing I did to renounce the negative list was to burn it.  See link.

I’m not sure where you are at with your identity. My guess is it’s swirling with a bunch of negativity. As a fellow warrior, if we could sit down, I’d challenge you, as my mentor did me, to answer those two questions.  

Don’t copy my answers; that’d be cheating.

Get real, unpeel the layers of your heart and let God speak.

Warrior On!