6 Whats; 1 Who-Part 2

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MW Editor’s note: There are six aspects to your manhood and Jesus has something to say about all of them; all of you. In this post we’ll explore aspects 4-6 and what mentors can do to help a young man grow in his masculinity. You can also go back and catch Part 1 of this series; 6 Whats; 1 Who.

We at Mentoring Warriors promote an organic, relational approach instead of a programmatic one.  Not that programs don’t have their place.  They can serve an invaluable purpose, but given the long-view of where God wants to take a man, life-on-life mentoring is the way to go. After all, that’s how Jesus did it, and we are all about following his way of life.

Whenever a conversation arises with a young man, we often talk about one or all of six different areas of life. They include six key areas of manhood.  We’ll look at aspects four through six in this post.

Faith

It’s true, most young men leave home for college and work only to also leave the church. Not that they are necessarily anti-Jesus, but their life is often caught up in their new adventures. 

Sometimes it takes a crisis, or perhaps a shift from singleness to marriage and kids that spurs a young man to take a longer look at faith.

“Who is Jesus?

Is the Bible true?

What is sin?

How do my circumstances and God mix?

There’s got to be more than just what I experience.”

There are two ways we often slice and dice faith.  

1. Faith becomes a religious activity. Go to church, attend small groups, read your Bible, pray, and volunteer. Do all the right things, just keep faith more about doing than becoming. 

or

2. Faith becomes a relationship with the God of the Universe. The late Dallas Willard talks about having a conversational relationship with Jesus. There is a spiritual aspect to faith that we often skirt over. It’s a supernatural aspect to faith where Christ lives His life through you (Galatians 2:20). 

The question is which view of faith are you pursuing, if you are at all?

We hope that as a mentor, you are intentionally walking with Jesus in an ever-deepening relationship. That is something you cannot force, nor should you on your young warrior. But, having conversations that lead to the questions above, and more, is core to a young man’s maturity.

The last thing you as a mentor, or a warrior would want is to have a complacent to non-existent faith. Neither leads anywhere good. 

Relationships

This is a big one!  A young man meets a cute girl. He moves out of home. His first boss challenges his view of authority and submission. Learning to develop healthy man-to-man relationships that extend far beyond beers and games.  

How do you know when she’s the right one? How do you even ask a girl out? What do you do with newfound emotions that seem to wash over your brain every time you see a certain girl? 

Beyond the pursuit of a woman and hopefully marriage, how do you deal with relationships in general?

I recall being a 5-year-old boy hiding behind my dad’s legs. I was so shy. When I hit middle school and saw this cute girl, I got this weird rush of feelings and had no idea how to handle my emotions. I retreated. My shyness got the best of me. 

Emotions in relationships are deeply connected to Identity (the next manhood aspect). The risk is we separate out all six of these manhood aspects as if they are each stand-alone. They are not. Interdependency is part and parcel in becoming a holistic man of God.

Dealing with your emotions in relationships must be done so in the context of your identity in Jesus. 

If the young man you mentor is struggling with a relationship, watching you navigate difficult relationships will speak volumes more than a helpful, but short-lived coffee conversation. 

Identity

This is by far one of the most crucial aspects of your emerging manhood.  If a boy only hears negativity and criticism, guess what kind of a man he’ll become? 

On the other hand, if he hears validation and delight. If he knows he is seen, heard, and loved, what kind of confidence will he display in his manhood?

Frequently, there is a direct connection between a young man’s identity and his struggles with sexual identity. If he’s a porn addict, he often has a low view of himself and God. He’s caved to the lies that he has no value, is ignored and not loved. If people say they love him, it’s obligatory-not genuine. 

As a mentor, impart true identity into your warrior. No cheap platitudes, but genuine confidence in him; affirmation, validation, and love. Yes, love. There are countless times I’ve spoken such identity into a young man. Their body language perks up as if no one has ever told them that before. They begin to see the man God created them to become. Attitudes change. Focus realigns and they take strides in manhood maturity.

Self-Management, Life Skills, Education and Career, Faith, Relationships, and Identity. Six aspects of manhood are all wrapped up in one man.

6 whats, one you. 

The amazing thing is Jesus has something to say about every one of those areas of manhood. 

Taking on a holistic view of mentoring will shift your energy from simply scheduling another coffee or lunch meeting with your warrior, to engaging life on life.

This pushes the mentor to live what we call a courageously vulnerable life in front of his warrior.

Warrior On!

If you need help in becoming such a mentor or in finding a holistic mentor, reach out to us at info@mentoring-warriors.com