Identity Relationships

Harder to Fake It

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Somewhere along the way from boyhood to manhood, the nature of a guy starts to shift. His awareness of the world around him expands. Adventure, exploration, experimentation.  Not just with physical objects, but with relationships as well.

I recall at age 4 throwing a brick in the air, stepping aside, and watching it fall to the ground where I had been standing. I looked powerful to my friends. The problem is, I tried it again, to impress them again, only to step the wrong way. A brick slamming on my head split it open. The next thing I knew, my friends all scattered, and Mom was driving me to the Air Force Base Emergency Room. Let’s say I had a massive headache that night! To this day, when the weather changes I feel a bit of pressure on my skull.

Broken finger at age 5. Stung by a bee while playing in the park at age 7. I had a baseball bat fly and hit me in the head during sixth-grade recess.  Then, there was the cut knee from spinning out on Darrell Johnson’s stingray bike while holding my Icee. Decades later, the scar is still there. 

Blacking out while being body-slammed during wrestling in junior high gym class. I broke my collarbone when I was 13 at my cousin’s farm.  The Bridgestone 100 got away from me when I crashed into a barbed wire fence.

Of course, later on, as an adult, broken wrists and ribs from bike accidents, and a dislocated hand from slipping on a granite boulder in Canada. 

I’m sure you have your own litany of mishaps from testing life out!

“Are you OK?”  I’d hear someone ask.  No lie here. As a boy I’d cry. Tears flowed and I longed for someone to hold me tight. Love me.

Somewhere in there, probably as puberty hit, I found this underlying drive to come across as if I had my act together more than I actually did.

“Are you OK?”  

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I’d muster with my chest out as if I was tough enough to handle the pain. The problem was I was torn up inside, still longing for affection and care. 

Then, came a new discovery; girls!  Wow! Did they ever catch my attention! What kind of image was I going to project?  I laugh now, but I was so dorky in junior high. What a nerd inside!

Even my faith had a front. At age 12 I trusted Jesus out of fear of hell. I wanted to escape eternal damnation, but still wanted to live my life my way.


Truth is, we’re all fakes.  Chasing after something just around the corner, as if it will fulfill that deep longing in us. My sixth-grade bike trip with my friend Darrell on our sting-ray bikes to get Icees. Riding that Bridgestone 100, Feeding some girl a line about my great plans for the weekend.  Telling people at church “I’m fine.” when in reality I was addicted to poor ways of handling stress.

When will this crazy merry-go-round stop so I can get off?

Sometimes, God has to get our attention by a crisis. Something to shake us up. A broken relationship. Getting let go from work. He’s not being vindictive when it happens. His aim is to call us to Himself, 

In the end, the true you is when you are when you are saturated with Jesus.

In Jesus, faking goes by the wayside. 

Authenticity turns into transparency and ultimately courageous vulnerability.  

People see you for who you truly are. 

Women don’t want to date or marry fakes. 

True love is rooted in the godly man you are in Christ. 

The Australian group, Hollow Coves has a song entitled “Harder to Fake It”.  It’s this idea of stopping the endless trivial games of life. Get off the living-for-the-weekend mindset and pursue life with a deeper purpose and calling.  Ultimately, that calling is found in Jesus. 

Follow the link below and shed the ways you have been faking life.

Warrior On!

[Verse 1]

Hey, it’s time to light a fire in this place

Feels like we’re caught up in the same old foolish ways

Waiting for the weekend

Just chasing that feeling

These days we’re watching all the time just fade away

Seems like we’re going round in circles everyday

I’m tired of the same thing

Just chasing that feeling


So come on, give it up, you rely on the scene

Now your time’s running up, it’s getting late

It’s getting harder to fake it

And the tides coming up

So dive in, don’t wastе it, time’s racing

[Verse 2]

Hey, it’s time to draw a line and turn the page

‘Cause if we never try we’ll never see a change

I wanna believe in

Something with meaning

Go out and take a step towards a life you love

And even though it might be hard, don’t give up

A change of season

Something with meaning


So come on, give it up, you rely on the scene

Now your time’s running up, it’s getting late

It’s getting harder to fake it

And the tides coming up

So dive in, don’t waste it, time’s racing


I’m starting to see things

In a different light

Let’s dive in the deep end

Let’s reach new heights

Let’s run life’s races

With hearts on fire

When fear needs facing

Let’s walk that wire


So come on, give it up, you rely on the scene

Now your time’s running up, it’s getting late

It’s getting harder to fake it

And the tides coming up

So dive in, don’t waste it, time’s racing

David Riffel is the Founder and Executive Director of Having gone through his warrior years (18-30) essentially without a mentor, God has placed in him a heart for warriors, to come alongside them in various ways as they figure out life. David’s newly released book, Mentoring Warriors: Coming Alongside Young Men 18-30, outlines principles for mentoring and gives advice for warriors in six key areas of life: self-management, life skills, education/career, relationships, faith, and identity.

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