Mentoring Helps Relationships

LOVKN- Part 3; Had I Had a Mentor

Editor’s note:  This is part 3 of a trilogy of interviews with Steve Lufkin; known as the music name LOVKN.  In this interview we ask LOVKN what life would have looked like had he had a mentor.

MW: We at Mentoring Warriors value healthy, maturing men who are walking with God through every aspect of their lives.  Knowing the warrior years (ages 18-30) are often filled with a myriad of first time experiences and choices, the value of having a mentor can positively improve the warrior’s chance of finding success in a host of aspects of life. When you think of the six basic areas of life most warriors face, which ones of those could you have benefitted from having a mentor?  Explain.

LOVKN:

Self-management

Life Skills

Education/Career

Relationships

Faith

Manhood Identity

Regarding manhood identity: Early on, from the age of 15-20 I would have benefitted from having someone open up the conversation of pornography with me. It was something that I struggled with most throughout those years but often was too ashamed and fearful to speak out about it. That of course led to more shame. I think every young man needs an older man to initiate that conversation and offer support for when that struggle is prevalent. Regarding relationships: I would have benefitted from having a mentor to walk closely with me through my engagement at 19. I certainly thought I had my life figured out and to an extent, I did. It would have been nice to have a mentor remind me of the importance of taking time to date someone, rather than quickly run into such a big commitment. 

MW:. What would you say to a young man who thinks he doesn’t need a mentor.

LOVKN:

To that I would say, this is exactly why you need a mentor. Being at a place in life where you think you have it all figured out and wouldn’t benefit from the guidance of others can be dangerous. No matter your age, you will always benefit from the wisdom of those who have gone before you. It is an act of humility to invite the guidance of a mentor into your life. 

MW: Fast forward ten years. Let’s say you befriend a college student who reminds you of yourself at his age.  What advice would you give him if he asked you to be his mentor?

LOVKN:

I would say, it’s important to think about your future and make goals and plans but, it’s equally important (if not more) to look around today and embrace the experiences, relationships and people God has placed in front of you. Don’t get so caught up in future-thinking that you miss the joy of living today and the opportunity God has for you to shine His light on the here and now. I would also say, money is important to an extent, it’s the currency of this world that we have to work with and steward. But always remember, you can’t serve two masters. You can’t serve both God and money (matt 6:24). Seek first God’s kingdom and what you need will be provided for you (matt 6:33). Don’t seek a soul-sucking high paying job just because it’s high paying. We are not here to build up treasures of this world, rather treasures of the Kingdom. Spend time everyday seeking the Lord’s voice for where He’s calling you (a lot of times that is in line with our passions) and chase after those things even if they feel impossible. I believe we all have something that we’re passionate about. Spend time trying to figure out what that is. Also, if you’re in a dating relationship, walk with a mentor through it. Find someone who you can be honest with and open up to about struggles in the relationship. If you’re having trouble keeping physical boundaries in the relationship, let a mentor into that process. Don’t keep things in the dark. Lastly, practice the spiritual discipline of reading your Bible everyday. Stay in the word of God

Thanks for having me on Mentoring Warriors!

Warrior On!

You can reach LOVKN at https://lovknmusic.com/home

Steven Lufkin
Musician at LOVKN | Website

LOVKN is a Christian-artist and producer based in Phoenix, AZ. His musical journey began as a young 11-year-old learning piano at school. In late 2017 he took a step of faith by uploading his songs online to Soundcloud and eventually Spotify. In 2018, after getting some traction from a YouTube feature with the Good Christian Music Blog (now Amen Worldwide), LOVKN went on to share his music with communities around the US. The following year brought with it opportunities for him to travel and share his songs around the globe. Now at 27, Lovkn has released 3 albums and multiple EPs as well as organized and played in multiple tours including the One Big Family tour in 2019. His One Big Family ministry, established in 2019, helps to serve and bring unity to a growing community of Christian indie-artists around the globe. You can reach LOVKN at https://lovknmusic.com/home

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