General Mentoring Helps Relationships

Mentoring and Overcoming Lust (Part 2)

In the last post, we looked at sexual purity and how it can rupture a family when abused or create binding relationships of hope and trust when properly valued. We looked at the apostle Paul’s teaching of the church as a family and began to re-imagine mentorship by the way Paul approached people. This week we’ll jump back into looking at modern-day issues and see how Paul’s teaching offers us good news for today.

Back to Modern Day

The hope of sexual purity is needed in everyone’s life today. Divorce is at an all-time high. Globalization has people unrooted and moving like no other generation in human history. Do you know what gives us rootedness, as parents separate, and when life moves so quickly past us? Lust. Specifically, porn. I draw out porn in particular because people are having less sex today than they were 10 years ago, yet nearly 95% of Americans watch porn on a regular basis link to

We are a Fatherless Generation 

Parents shy away from vulnerable moments with their children, which teaches a child a relationship-of-distance between parent and child. Men and women mentor from a distance, offering knowledge but not a relationship; young men and women feel neglected and unknown and react with pride, tearing down the old to build something of their own.

Everyone is running scared, watching porn in loneliness of isolation because, just like children, they’re afraid of the dark.

Scripture and Us

What would it look like if you started to see real relationships in the context of family as Paul did? What if you moved toward younger men and women as you would move toward younger brothers and younger sisters?

If you’re an older man or woman, you are designed to parent, regardless of whether you have children or not. It seems Paul did not have biological children, though he intentionally fathered those around him. Paul shared his weakness, not just his strength, and he worked to create the church as a home.

If you’re a younger man or woman then you are designed to be impressionable. We are constantly looking for heroes, on stages as musicians, on television screens saving the cosmos, or simply those around us who we admire. Pray for and find older brothers, find older sisters, and likewise allow yourself to be a big brother or sister to a generation with a broken image of the family.

If you can mentor like a father, mother, older brother or older sister, then you can begin to mentor others into a place of wholesome purity, namely, into a family. And if you position yourself like a son, daughter, younger brother or sister, then you can start living in the kind of freedom Jesus died to give us. 

3 Things You Can Do to Move into a Mentoring Relationship

1. There is an article on this Mentoring Warriors website that helps you find a mentor. It also gives you a checklist for what it takes to be a good mentor.

2. Take the Self-Assessment on this website. It will help you see where you might need focused mentoring.

3. Ask for help. No one expects you to be a perfect mentor. It is through your mistakes that God uses you to come alongside others and to have others come alongside you.

Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 2;2 the impact mentoring can have on future generations.

and what you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also.

Mentoring matters. 

Warrior On!

Shane O'Neill

Shane O’Neill is the Editorial Director for Proven Men Ministries (, a non-profit, sexual integrity organization that partners with individuals, churches, and organizations to see men, women, and families discover Jesus’ freedom. Shane is currently working on a graduate degree in apologetics at Liberty University’s Rawling School of Divinity.

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